So I've decided that I am absolutely horrible at keeping this blog up, which is sad since I do actually have a lot going on in my head. So I apologize to the people who actually read my blog, or lack there of. Now this post is pretty vast, kinda random, ok really random, but stuff that for whatever reason, I just felt like sharing. So here you go.
To kind of catch you up to speed a bit, a lot has gone on the past few months. A Promotion, a retreat, a first relationship, a first break up, and a reminder that now more than ever, I need God. When people asked how my relationship with God was, I never really knew how to answer them because I never really had one. I knew who God was, and I accepted Jesus, but I never really jumped into the actual living what I believed part. Recently I finally realized this and so I've been working on having a real relationship with God. Putting time and effort into it, which I've been struggling with a bit, trying to build good habits and what not. I'm easily distracted.
Now I listen to music quite a bit. It's definitely a passion and a past time for me, and what I've noticed with myself and I'm sure its the same with a lot of people is that music affects my moods and thoughts. So if I'm listening to.... oh lets say, Coldplay, I tend to do a lot of thinking. ( Yes I am listening to them now). When I listen to bands like Underoath or Attack Attack!, I'm usually pumped. Now to be completely honest, I'm not sure why I'm telling you this, but thats what I'm thinking about. I find it facinating.
Now I've recently, for probably the 100th time stopped smoking and am quitting again. Now people have come up to me before and asked, uh......why do smoke? You don't look like someone who would. To be honest, it's the biggest mistake I've made in my life and I regret it everytime I light one up, but it's an addiction just like a drug or starbucks coffee. So now I'm at the point where I am just so sick of it. The taste, the smell, the smell of me after it, and only the effects that it has on me, but everyone else around me. Nobody wants to be around that!