Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Can You Speak Louder Please, My Hearing Isn't What It Used To Be

As we near what seems to be the end of summer, I'm catching myself sitting back and reflecting on it. The good and the bad. Fun and not so fun times. So far, I've come up with one word to describe me for this summer. Uncomfortable. I feel like I'm on a giant roller coaster ride complete with wooden engineering and the bars that hold you in, not the upgraded and far more comfortable harnesses they use, but just a metal bar. Currently, I'm living in a house with my family that isn't ours, were just borrowing it. My parents are sleeping in the living room, and I, a 21 year old ( I guess you could say man) is sharing a room with his one and only younger brother. I love him, but were just too old for this.

On top of that, my dreams and aspirations are a cluster of confusion in itself. Anyone who knows me longer than 5 minutes knows that my passion is music. My 8 to 5 is cars, which is another passion of mine, but to a lesser extent. Could I work on cars the rest of my life and enjoy it? Absolutely. If something in music came around and it came to make the decision to drop cars, would I do it? Absolutely. What I can't seem to figure out is why I have these hopes and dreams, but nothing seems to be happening to reassure these hopes and dreams. And the bigger question is, God whats going on? Why, if this is just nothing and nothing is happening, and it will continue to stay nothing, am I still left feeling like there should be something?

Despite all of this, my relationship with Meagan is amazing, and she has played a huge part in my sanity this summer, along with all of my friends, but that uncomfortable feeling still lingers there and I hate it. I don't want it there. It's driving me crazy. The new house will be done soon, which fixes the home situation, but regardless, that's just a shim in a telephone pole. The only thing I can make of this is that God is trying to teach me patience. I just need to be ready to listen when He is ready to speak.

1 comment:

Romi said...

"Ehhh what's that sonny??!" ; ) Just teasing, but appreciate your update! Remember Joe...discomfort may very well be exactly where God wants you to be and where He'll use you the most. It sure as heck may feel like nothing's happening, but it is...He's orchestrating a plan He's obviously preparing you for. He's just not letting you in on it yet. I know all too well the waiting and wondering in the "in between" really stinks! No, make that sucks!! But ya gotta believe God never would have put music as a passion on your heart or wired you to be a drummer if He wasn't planning to utilize that somehow. For a while there I all but gave up on my aspirations to do something in the music biz (ie booking artists, songwriting, etc.) and just chose to close that door and resist because "nothing" was happening. And here's the weird part, every time I did that, God sent someone/something into my life that wooed me back to the music. It finally occurred to me (I'm incredibly slow on the uptake at times) that He did want to use me, but I had to remain open to His leading and patient on His timing. By submitting to God, He's been blessing me with opportunities I never thought was possible.

I guess all that to say is keep at it, Joe!! You're an amazing drummer!!! Anybody can see that's your heartbeat...watching you drum at 3F is pretty sweet!! So maybe consider looking at the "nothing happening" as a season of preparation for what He's got on tap for you next instead. Use it as a time to hone your skills and step up your game even more. Slinking off my soapbox now...
And btw, hope it's okay to steal your line "just a shim in a telephone pole" for a lyric I'm working on. I love that line and the imagery it provokes! : ) Over n Out for now...